[If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready


  • Hardcover
  • 320
  • If I Have to Tell You One More Time
  • Amy McCready
  • English
  • 20 June 2020
  • 9781585428649

Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read

Download µ If I Have to Tell You One More Time 102 Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read Arenting course Positive Parenting Solutions Amy McCready presents a nag and scream free program for compassionately yet effectively correcting your children's bad behavior In this invaluable book McCready shows parents how an understanding of the psychological theory espoused by Alfred Adler 1870 1937 can put an end to power struggles in their households Adlerian psychology focuses on the central idea that every human being has. The first 3 chapters made me feel like a terrible parent saying that things like time outs and counting to three don t help There were many tips that helped me and that I continue to do with my children like special one on one time But other things just weren t working for us While the logic behind most of the tips is sound in reality not everything works for every child or parent Because counting to 3 does work on my boys I only have to say 1 before they know I mean business The overall suggestion is to be a loving patient parent who takes time with their child to listen and play with them And to remember that even small children have their own ideas and thoughts of what is important to them though it may not seem important to an adult So try to think from the child s perspective and treat your child and their thoughts feelings with respectI recommend this for any parent just try not to take the criticism too personally This book would be especially good for those who are not yetsoon to be andor new parents before getting set in a certain parenting pattern positive or negative The Dog of My Nightmares: Stories Read by Texas Columnist Dave Lieber effectively correcting your children's bad behavior In this invaluable book McCready shows parents how an understanding of the psychological theory Andy Catlett: Early Travels: A Novel espoused by Alfred Adler 1870 1937 can put an Capricorne - Tome 3 - Deliah (Troisième Vague Lombard) end to power struggles in their households Adlerian psychology focuses on the central idea that The Fifth Risk: Undoing Democracy every human being has. The first 3 chapters made me feel like a terrible parent saying that things like time outs and counting to three don t help There were many tips that helped me and that I continue to do with my children like special one on one time But other things just weren t working for us While the logic behind most of the tips is sound in reality not How Science Works: The Facts Visually Explained (How Things Work) everything works for Classic Sail 2015 Calendar every child or parent Because counting to 3 does work on my boys I only have to say 1 before they know I mean business The overall suggestion is to be a loving patient parent who takes time with their child to listen and play with them And to remember that The Westing Game (Puffin Modern Classics) even small children have their own ideas and thoughts of what is important to them though it may not seem important to an adult So try to think from the child s perspective and treat your child and their thoughts feelings with respectI recommend this for any parent just try not to take the criticism too personally This book would be Tom of Finland. The Complete Kake Comics (Bibliotheca Universalis) especially good for those who are not yetsoon to be andor new parents before getting set in a certain parenting pattern positive or negative

Download ✓ PDF, DOC, TXT, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ↠ Amy McCready

If I Have to Tell You One More Time

Download µ If I Have to Tell You One More Time 102 Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read A basic need to feel powerful with children being no exception to the rule And when this need isn't met in positive ways kids will resort to negative methods which often result in some of the most frustrating behavior they exhibit If I Have to Tell You One More Time provides the knowledge and tools parents need to address the deeper issues that inspire their children to misbehave Read this book and rediscover the joy of parenting. OK it s written with enthusiasm by a business consultant who naturally overpromises dramatic improvements to your kids behavior Plus a lot of this is for kids much older than ours But there are some useful seeming tips We ll try them out and see if it helpsNotes to self p21 22 Alfred Adler s child psychology premises1 A child s primary goal is to achieve belonging and significance ie power if they don t get them in positive ways they ll resort to negative ways2 All behavior is goal oriented misbehavior is symptom of a deeper problem3 A misbehaving child is a discouraged child they want you to help them feel belonging and significance but don t know howAnd when they don t get these two necessary things they go through the following stages1 Undue Attention whining clinging acting helpless etc in the hopes that parents will give them comfort ie a sense of belonging2 Power challenging or provoking parents to get into a power struggle they can win to feel significant3 Revenge if they still can t get either belonging or significance get even with the parents by inflicting harm4 Assumed Inadeuacy if all of the above fail kids just give up detach want to be left aloneOur oldest is well into 1 Undue Attention I guess I should be thankful it s not worse and try to nip it in the bud It s interesting to think about my other family members and where they are in their dynamics with their own parents p34 35 To feed the meter and prevent the kids from feeling detached or powerless in the first place be sure to give each child some dedicated one to one time from each parentAim for at least two 10 minute periods each dayIdeally schedule these times as part of a daily ROUTINEBut also do this 1 when you can see their attention basket is nearly empty and 2 when you re about to start something else that can t be interrupted a work call cooking on the hot stove etc p57 59 Personality priorities self uiz Of the four parent types my wife and I both prioritize Pleasing and Controlling much so than Superiority or Comforting I suspect we both default to starting in Pleasing mode avoid conflict too often doing things for the kids or reminding them instead of making them doremember it themselves even when it overburdens us Then when it fails we snap ungracefully into Controlling mode do it my way because I said soUnfortunately the book s tips are contradictory here Be less Pleasing by saying No often and be less Controlling by saying Yes often Maybe if we started out as less Pleasing in the first place we wouldn t snap as much p63 Keep using your Calm Voice even when you re worked up As hard as it is raising our voices won t help the kids act reasonably and make adult decisions themselves which is ultimately what we want right p96 Avoid piggybacking following a compliment by an I told you so or other snark like Wow you spent a lot of time cleaning your room If only it could stay this way all the timeBy adding this extra piece of guiltshame to the encouraging initial phrase we deflate the pridejoy that we wanted them to feel about the job well done Just stop after the encouragement itself p100 Avoid comparisons between siblings etc Instead of Come sit down at dinner like your brother say When everyone is sitting at the table then we ll serve dinner p117 118 Explicitly teach the tasks you want them to take on Give kids responsibilities not chores but family contributions but make sure you ve taken time to train them firstUse role play to help ask the stuffed animals to take part or switch roles so your kid can teach you the right way to do itEncourage good progress and avoid criticism which apparently can set back the training p118 120 Good list of age appropriate family contributions2 3 YEARS OLD Wipe down kitchen chairs and stools with a damp sponge Carry in the newspaper or mail Pick up toys and clothes Wash tables and counters with a damp sponge Fold washcloths Wash vegetables tear lettuce stir Help set the table napkins silverware Feed the pets and refill water Be sure to provide training on just how much food and water to offer Help clean own place at the table Help put groceries away at kid friendly level Unload spoons and forks from dishwasher4 5 YEARS OLD same as previous list plus Make own bed use a simple comforter Help fold towels and washcloths Clean own bathroom sink with wipes Water plants provide training on how much water Prepare simple breakfastlunch and clean up Polish silver wearing gloves Empty small trashcans around the house Sort white clothes from dark clothes for laundry Help with vacuuming sweeping and dusting Transfer clothes from the washer to the dryer Dust mop the floor Use handheld vacuum for spills and messes6 8 YEARS OLD Wash dishes load and unload dishwasher Simple meal preparation salads desserts Help change bedsheets and put dirty sheets in laundry Pack lunch for school Iron cloth napkins Fold simple laundry items and put them away Dust baseboards Vacuum and dust furniture Walk pets daily Pull weeds Get self up in the morning with an alarm clock Put groceries away9 11 YEARS OLD Household maintenance change light bulbs batteries Fold all of own laundry and put it away More detailed household cleaning refrigerator toilets Wash car vacuum inside of car Plant flowers garden items at change of season Assist younger siblings with homework reading Bathe and groom pets Weekly trash duties gather trash take dumpster out Monthly closet drawer organization12 14 YEARS OLD Change bed sheets independently Laundry start to finish Wash indoor windows and lower outdoor windows Mow lawn rake leaves spread mulch Administrative tasks in parents business Prepare family meal 1 dayweek using a simple menu Manage family recycling efforts Babysit siblings for short periods with adult nearby Have total responsibility for family pets Clean shower and tub p141 Use when then statements When you finish X then we can do YY should be a normally occurring privilege not a special treat reward otherwise it s bribingDon t say if it makes Y feel like a bribe and like you don t have confidence that your kid can handle XState your when then clearly ONE time then step back If appropriate set a deadline but don t give reminders p145 Use when then s as routines not just one offs Make it clear what the daily routine is to avoid repeated negotiations over daily tasks Then the parents aren t the bad guy the routine itself provides the pressure to clean up etcIncorporate family contributions into the routines tooKeep bedtimes etc consistent all week don t delay them on weekends bc kids internal clocks don t recognize weekends and they ll just have trouble resetting each MondayKeep a routine for weekends and for summer too even if it s modified Still expect a few family contributions before playtime etcFor younger kids keep it as a picture checklist on a clipboard p162 6 To prevent misbehavior often you need to make sure the kid really is trained Not following social rules Make sure they know those rules in advance role play with them to practice before you leave homeBut if it persists ideally you d use Natural Conseuences When the kid doesn t listen to you let them suffer the natural fallout It s not you but rather the universe teaching them a lesson Eg if they repeatedly refuse to wear a jacket in winter let them go outside in a t shirt a few times and feel the cold and they should learn the importance of jackets for themselvesBut can t do that for some things not safe or too long of a wait before payoff or it s of a social rule then try Logical Conseuences which you as a parent impose but should still relate directly to the misbehaviorExamples Not brushing teeth Then conseuently you may decide they can t eat any sugar whatsoever as an alternative way to avoid dental problems Throwing toys Then you might take that toy away for the day as an alternative way to avoid mess and injuryWhether Natural or Logical to be a conseuence and not just punishment make sure it s 1 Respectful not a humiliating conseuence 2 Related to the misbehavior 3 Reasonable for the kid s maturity level 4 Revealed in advance so they make the choice of whether to behave or not knowing the conse and 5 Repeated back to you so you know they heard youOnce you ve stated it turn your back and make it clear that you don t care which choice is made In other words whether they choose to behave or to misbehave and suffer the conse you ll be indifferent and simply follow through either wayIn either case make sure you have given fair warning don t just impose these in anger on the spot p188 For heat of the moment problems when you don t have a prepared NaturalLogical Conse use eitherorEither you stop right now or the conse will be Z which frankly sounds like the same old punishments parents have always used except stated in the heat of the moment as though it s the kid s choice I guess that s marginally better from the kid s perspective than Stop right now You didn t stop OK now I will invent and impose a conseBut it s SO hard to pause and invent a reasonable conseuence on the spot at the same time as I m trying to get them to stop doing the dangerousirresponsible thing Much easier to shout Stop first and hope they do or if they don t to then apply punishment afterwards once you ve had a moment to think it over Not sure how practical this advice is But on p174 if you couldn t reveal a conse in advance treat this misbehavior as a teaching moment chance to train the kid and then set up a conse for what ll happen NEXT time if it s ever repeated p175 6 Conseuences for harming someone else ask him what he needs to do to make it right with the other person beyond the obligatory I m sorry A hug a note or another act of kindness is certainly in order and chances are it will make both parties feel better Your child will also develop a stronger sense of empathy and personal responsibility in the long runConse for leaving toys out lose the privilege of playing with them they ll be put away in a box for X days p190 194 How to handle Undue Attention seeking behaviorStart by making sure you do give the kid regular 1 1 time for clear undivided attention from each parent Otherwise I guess it s hard to call it undueIf it still persists make an advance plan clear to your child When you whine my ears hurt and I will no longer pay attention to what you say in that tone of voice but I ll happily listen when you speak in your normal voice Or When I m cooking and unavailable to play I will ignore reuests to play but I ll happily play with you after dinnerMake sure they re trained in what the appropriate behavior actually is incl role playing eg the difference between whiny and normal voiceFinally follow through Really do ignore those undue reuests walk away if needed instead of engaging by reminding themBut what if you have an upcoming time when you just can t manage misbehavior in the moment Cooking work call etc Then plan to fill their attention basket for 10 minutes just before the scheduled time This should prevent them from resorting to misbehavior when you really need the time If you need to do it with multiple kids start with the easiest and end with the one most likely to wheedle attention so they get their bucket filled closest to your work meeting or whatever p198 When the kid demands Special Service undue attention by asking you to do something you know they can handle say I m going to let you do that because I know you can do it I have confidence that you can do it p241 2 If there s sibling rivalry over shared toys etc establish a clear division of private vs common spaces OK to divide a shared bedroom into private times instead of spaces Then establish these rules1 When I choose to play in common area I consent to having my siblings play with me If I want to play alone I can do that in a private area2 When I choose to leave my toys in a common area I am sharing them with others If I don t want them shared I have to keep them in the private area3 Play fighting reuires mutual consent we ll choose a family recognized phrase Stop now and agree to immediately stop if we hear itAlso when kids have trouble sharing remind them to ask for toy with an open palm not yank it away p262 Schedule a weekly Family Meeting Start with complimentsappreciations from each person to each other person Then review the upcoming week s calendar If needed spend time on joint problem solving or perhaps on training the kids in things like fire safety or phone etiuette Next pass out allowances End by serving a snack and doing something fun together p268 Don t bring a problem unless you come prepared with at least one or two possible solutionsOMG I wish my colleagues used this rule for running faculty meetings Make clear separation between time to vent and time to discuss solve problems

Characters If I Have to Tell You One More Time

Download µ If I Have to Tell You One More Time 102 Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read Put an end to painful power struggles with your children Why is it so difficult sometimes to get kids to listen You ask your child to turn off the TV do her homework or get ready for school or bedtime You know he heard you but he ignores you You ask again and stillno response You've tried everything time outs nagging counting to three and nothing seems to work In If I Have to Tell You One More Time founder of the popular online p. I ve read several parenting books The Happiest Toddler on the Block 1 2 3 Magic How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and LIsten So Kids Will Talk I learned a lot from those books but If I Have to Tell You One More Time is hands down the best McCready shows you how to eliminate the root of the misbehaviors I would call it a misbehavior prevention program where there are a lot of empowering of kids training of kids giving conseuences not punishments to kids etc The book isn t overly stuffed with psychological babble but instead has clear direct instructions and examples of how parents should implement the tools I also love how McCready empathizes with the parents and then empowers them


10 thoughts on “[If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready

  1. says: [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready

    [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready Download ✓ PDF, DOC, TXT, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ↠ Amy McCready Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read There comes a point in raising a child that you realize that you need help in manipulation because clearly the child isn't

  2. says: [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready

    Download ✓ PDF, DOC, TXT, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ↠ Amy McCready Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready I've read several parenting books The Happiest Toddler on the Block 1 2 3 Magic How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and LIsten So Kids Will Talk I learned a lot from those books but If I Have to Tell You One More Time is hands down the best McCready shows you how to eliminate the root of the misbehaviors I would c

  3. says: [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read

    [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready Much of this fit dealing with one of my kids to a T Early on the book advises think of your child as wearing a gi

  4. says: Characters If I Have to Tell You One More Time [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read

    Characters If I Have to Tell You One More Time Download ✓ PDF, DOC, TXT, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ↠ Amy McCready Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read The first 3 chapters made me feel like a terrible parent saying that things like time outs and counting to three don't help There were many tips that helped me and that I continue to do with my children like special one on one time But other things just weren't working for us While the logic behind most of the tips is sound in rea

  5. says: Characters If I Have to Tell You One More Time [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read

    [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready At a point in our lives three weeks ago when my husband and I were just about to lose our shit over power struggles with our 3 13 year old we found this book Has it been a perfect solution to our issues? No Has

  6. says: [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read Download ✓ PDF, DOC, TXT, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ↠ Amy McCready

    [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready Lots of great ideas Will see how execution goes

  7. says: Characters If I Have to Tell You One More Time [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read

    [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read OK it's written with enthusiasm by a business consultant who naturally overpromises dramatic improvements to your kids' behavior Plus a lot of this is for kids much older than ours But there are some useful seeming tips We'll try them out an

  8. says: [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready Download ✓ PDF, DOC, TXT, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ↠ Amy McCready

    Characters If I Have to Tell You One More Time [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready Loved it lots of great ideas and principles in this book

  9. says: [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read Characters If I Have to Tell You One More Time

    Amy McCready ↠ 2 Free read [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready Probably the best parenting book I'll ever read Fun to read well structured and containing loads of useful and easy to apply parenting strategies

  10. says: [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready

    [If I Have to Tell You One More Time] New ↠ Amy McCready I bought this one It has great advice organized and layed out well I like the focus on connecting with children and making routines to avoid power struggles This will be one of two go to parenting books for me

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